Becoming the better version of you takes time, patience, and brutal honesty with yourself. Understanding why you want to be better and understanding your motivators are important first steps, and the next stage is all about learning—learning about what you want, who you are, and what you are capable of.
Ready to learn more about the better you? Here’s how.
What Do You Want to Achieve?
What is it that you want to achieve by becoming better? Obviously, “better” is not the same thing for everyone.
As you did when you identified your motivation for becoming the better you, try to answer this question from a positive perspective. When you reframe your thinking so that you are envisioning adding or boosting good qualities and habits rather than taking negative ones away, you are reminded that you are more than enough as you are.
With this in mind, consider the following aspirations. Would improving any of these add value to your life?:
Relationships: Are your relationships mutually beneficial and fulfilling for you?
Organization: Are you organized at home, at work, and in your thoughts? Do you have healthy routines to reduce clutter in your life?
Emotional maturity: Do you have mastery of your behaviors and emotions? Do you feel capable of making informed decisions and adapting to your circumstances?
Perspective: Do you have practices in place to prevent negative thought patterns? Is your outlook on life generally positive, productive, and hopeful?
Physical wellness: Do you perform to the best of your ability? Do you feel healthy and powerful in your body?
Mental wellness: Do you strive to learn new things and increase your knowledge? Do you use your mental resources for all they are worth?
Like self-improvement expert T.D Jakes famously said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.”
You can’t move forward without effort, and you can’t make an effort without targeting your actions toward a common goal. Carefully visualize your ideal life and start moving in that direction by working on yourself. Consider your ideal you under a magnifying glass and feel free to be picky.
Who Are You Now?
Once you have an idea of what it is that you want to achieve, it is important to look at where you are in your life now. When you run a race, you need to know where the starting line is in order to make it to the finish.
It helps to focus your attention on these three areas: your purpose, your strengths, and what stands in your way.
Understand Your Purpose
The key to becoming a better you is to identify your reason for becoming better. What sparks feelings of excitement and joy for you? What fills you up when you do it? What gets you up in the morning? One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to find your calling—don’t expect someone else to do it for you.
Take a moment now to reflect on the last time you felt a warm glow, butterflies in your stomach, or an energetic buzz throughout your body. What were you doing? What were you thinking about? What were you hoping for? For some, this is seeing the world. For others, it’s helping people in need. If you need help finding your purpose or calling, give professional counseling services a try.
Understand Your Strengths
Plenty of people will say that they have no talents or special abilities, but this is never true. More often, people simply have trouble knowing what they are good at.
Whether you use your strengths to progress in your career path or just bring joy to your life, figuring out what you’re good at is essential. Studies have shown that working on strengths rather than minimizing weaknesses is critical to success and happiness. Using your strengths as much and in as many ways as possible is the only way to discover the better version of you.
If getting started is awkward, it doesn’t hurt to ask friends and family what they see. Sometimes you might not see a strength in yourself that is obvious to everyone else. A support system will help you to see that you have so many skills, talents, and abilities that are just waiting to be tapped into.
Understand What Might Get in Your Way
But as powerful as your strengths may be, they won’t make you invincible. Becoming a better you is going to get uncomfortable.
As you work toward a better version of yourself, you will encounter things you’re not fond of. You will find out things that you don’t like about yourself, parts of your life that require dramatic change, and opportunities for growth that you aren’t looking forward to. And as you uncover these things, you might start to worry about what you’re capable of. Your thoughts might sound something like:
“I’ll never manage that. I’ve never done that before.”
“What will people think if I fail?”
“Compared to so and so, I’ve got no chance.”
“What if I fail and end up worse off than I was?”
Don’t let nagging thoughts set you right back to where you started. Stop the negative self talk in its tracks before it stops you.
Life is happening now whether you like it or not, and it’s not slowing down. If you’re not who you want to be right this second, it’s time to change that.
Through the uncertainty and discomfort of self-improvement, the better version of you is waiting. Get ready, get set, go take the leap. See you on the other side!