Discovering the better version of you takes time, patience and honest self-reflection. We wrote about this in detail in our recent blog on the better version of you. Understanding why you want to be better is important, but once you’ve come to terms with your motivations, the next stage is discovery.
What do you want to achieve by bettering yourself? How do you discover the better version of you that is waiting to break through? Most of us feel that there is room for improvement at some point in our lives. This is great – it’s how we grow, and how we make the most of our lives. Half the fun of life is discovering what we’re capable of, but sometimes the main problem is not knowing where to start!
We’ve got a few ideas, so if you’re ready to be your best self yet, read on!
What is it that you want to achieve by becoming better? Perhaps you want to change personal traits that hold you back, whether this is a limiting belief system or unhelpful habits. You may have aspirations related to the material world, and know that you could be adding more value to your life.
Below are some common aspirations people have when they want to improve themselves:
- Relationships: attracting and maintaining mutually fulfilling relationships
- Organization: bringing your A-game, being more organized and developing healthy routines
- Maturity: understanding and mastering your emotions and behaviors, making better decisions and fine-tuning priorities
- Perspective: understanding and mastering your thought patterns and negative ways of looking at things
- Physical power: becoming more healthy, developing better eating habits and enhancing performance
- Mental abilities: learning new things, developing cognitive powers, using new knowledge wisely
- Material fulfilment: making better career choices, attracting more resources
Like T.D Jakes famously said, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.” You can’t expect to move forward without an authentic effort toward change. So knowing what the results should look like is crucial. Your personal blueprint of a better you will have various aspects to it, no doubt; nobody has exactly the same goals and aspirations as anyone else, so it’s important to carefully visualize your ideal life so that you can start moving in that direction.
Once you have an idea what it is that you want to achieve, it is important to critically analyze your life as it is now, as well as how you got to where you are. What decisions did you make to bring you to this point? What could you do to work towards your vision of this better you? We have a few ideas on moving past obstacles to reach your goals:
One of the keys to becoming better may be finding your true passion. The intuition is the best guide when it comes to discovering your passions; it is what sparks those feelings of excitement or joy at the prospect of certain new possibilities. As is the case with unused muscles, it takes practice to strengthen your intuition. For example, if you feel an energetic buzz when you imagine traveling to a country you haven’t yet visited, this is a good sign. Perhaps the thought of helping others overcome their personal traumas gives you a warm glow. If so, you may want to start researching counseling courses. These are just examples, but your initial feelings will tell you all you need to know when you toy with a vision of the future.
Plenty of people will say that they have no talents or special abilities. This is rarely ever true – it’s more plausible that these talents are latent or undiscovered. In fact, studies show that working on your strengths is the key to success, rather than trying to eradicate weaknesses. Talents are strengths, really; personal traits that can shape our life paths. Fortunately, using them tends to bring us more joy than conforming to society’s “shoulds”, or following the crowd for safety.
Whether you use a talent to progress a career path or just bring fun to your day, figuring out what you’re good at can help you to discover the better version of you. Even if it’s not immediately obvious, you have at least one unique skill or ability that could translate into several areas of your life. You don’t even have to be great at something to enjoy it – so go ahead, and watch your quality of life improve.
On the other hand, perhaps you’ve got a knack for making others feel very comfortable, or a natural ability to think critically and objectively, but you don’t always speak up so as to avoid conflict. Maybe you’re a snappy dresser but lack the confidence to fully express yourself through stylish apparel. Ask your friends and family what great traits or talents they see in you. Sometimes what you’re good at has never even occurred to you! Once you know, you can decide to explore your abilities a little more.
Change is a common one - change itself is the unknown. But as Simon T. Bailey said, “Change is your friend, not your foe; change is a brilliant opportunity to grow.” Without at least occasional change, lives stagnate - bottom line. Are you finding that there are areas of your life in which you’re just not giving it your all? Often it is just fear or negative self-chat that hold us back. Before you make the leap in going after something that inspires you, it steps in with its nagging doubts and suddenly you’re back in stagnation mode.
“I’ll never manage that. I always make a mess of things.”
“Compared to so and so, I’ve got no chance.”
“What if I fail and end up with nothing?”
“People will think I’m showing off if I do or say that”.
Recognize any of those? Thoughts that keeps you in the comfort zone… safely tucked away within the parameters of the ‘known’. When you catch your mind trying to talk you out of something you know could be positive for your life, stop the negative chat in its tracks and analyze it. Where did these thoughts come from?
Ask questions until you get to the core fear motivating the thoughts and ask yourself how valid that fear really is. Know that fear is usually just False Evidence Appearing Real. So, Forget Everything and Remember that you are creating the story of your life in every moment… and that if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Walk through the fire of fear, and the better version of you is waiting on the other side.
Discovering the better version of you is not as tough as it might seem. Just don’t forget that once you’re inspired, you need to follow up with some action too, and maybe you need to step out of your comfort zone to make the leap.