There are times when most aspects of life seem to be flowing so well, you feel on top of your game, and content with where you are at, and what you’ve achieved for the most part, then before you know it that familiar feeling of dissatisfaction creeps back in. This can lead to an uncomfortable feeling of internal dissonance. So when good becomes not good enough, what are you going to do? Let us help you get on the right track with some insights and tips:
Why is good no longer good enough?
There could be a myriad of reasons why you feel that an area of your life isn’t quite as shiny as it once seemed. The first thing to do is a reality check: look honestly at the situation to discover what is no longer fulfilling you. Admit it if you have a tendency to get bored easily, or whether something has truly changed to alter your perception. There will be a reason why this aspect of life is genuinely no longer stimulating or fruitful, and honesty will help you to find it.
Once you have a clearer picture of why good isn’t quite so good now, ask yourself whether you can reframe things. A situation might feel worse than it really is if you are only looking at what you don’t like. Reframing your thoughts about a situation allows you to consider it from another angle. This cultivates a truly balanced view, so you can then make the best possible decisions. Remember that reframing shouldn’t be forced – it must be done honestly, rather than used as a way to avoid making necessary changes.
When good needs to become better
Although you may need to make some changes, you won’t always need to do something drastic. If reality checks and reframing haven’t altered how you feel, maybe a change is required. This may need to be a big change, or just a few small ones to spark off a new direction.
To help you get this process started, we have listed a few of the most common life areas prone to dissatisfaction, followed by some reality check suggestions and potential solutions:
Unless you have a job that satiates your passions, you may be squeezing yourself into a role that only makes logical sense. At the time people leave school or university, they might not even recognize what is likely to fulfill them. This is why we tend to make mainly logical decisions based on what we are aware of at the time.
What is it about the job that isn’t working for you any more? Perhaps the initial challenge or novelty may have kept you mentally entertained; maybe the material rewards allow you to focus on things you enjoy outside of work. Regardless, the day-to-day situation may be unsustainable if you’re feeling a strong sense of dissatisfaction.
Reality check questions:
- Is it the daily activities that bore you?
- Do you feel a lack of purpose?
- How is your connection with the people you work with?
- Are there any inspiring job prospects within the company?
Perhaps your feelings would change if you made an effort to cultivate a better relationship with your boss or colleagues. Maybe getting a promotion will make a big difference? Discussing training or promotions with your boss or HR department might highlight the way. Otherwise, perhaps it is time to admit that you need to try something completely different. Is it time to go it alone and turn your business dream into a reality?
There are times when the mirror just isn’t saying what we want it to say. Although the mirror won’t lie, bear in mind that your perception can vary from day to day according to mood or unpredictable events. However, if this feeling has stuck around for a while, it might be time to ask yourself some questions and make a few changes.
Reality check questions:
- Are you truly looking after yourself as well as you could be?
- Are you comparing yourself to others too much?
- Are you feeling down in general and allowing this to color your perception?
- Do you need to update your look to align with how you now see yourself?
Maybe you need a fresh gym routine, or to actually sign up to a gym - being active is important for your physical and mental health. It might be time to start eating more healthily in order to drop a few pounds. If you have a habit of aspiring to unattainable media ideals, remind yourself that we are all made differently and that it’s healthier to embrace (or work with) what you personally have.
Your closet might need to be updated with some cool new apparel if you’re opening it each day and feeling uninspired; clothing can be a wonderful form of self-expression, and getting it right boosts self-confidence.
It happens… a lot, in fact. As we grow older and develop ourselves, it is common for certain people to fall by the wayside. Forming real friendships (future blog) becomes so much more important, but knowing when to communicate honestly and/or cut your losses can be challenging. Sometimes relationships are more firmly rooted (such as those with family), but change is still required.
Romantic relationships can be the most challenging, but on the other hand, they teach us a lot and help shape who we become. When a once good relationship no longer feels good enough, it’s time to decide on whether it can be saved, or if it will serve you more to let it go.
Reality check questions:
- What has changed about this relationship?
- Have I communicated my feelings and needs clearly enough?
- Are there more positive aspects than negative, or vice versa?
- What value does this relationship add to my life, and what value do I offer?
Communication is always key when it comes to relationships. If you feel that a relationship can be salvaged - or enhanced in some way - you will have to communicate your thoughts and requirements clearly and considerately. This can transform even seemingly hopeless relationships! Do what you can to make sure your relationship is balanced in terms of give and take. If it isn’t, one party is going to feel drained or resentful eventually. If you feel that you have outgrown a relationship, make the decision to cut it off kindly and move on to make space for better ones.
The bottom line is that when good becomes not good enough, you have the power to change it. You might be able to do this by changing your perception of a situation, or you may need to commit to change and follow up with appropriate actions. It’s funny how many of us are actually afraid of change – yet at the same time, on some level, we actually crave it. Whatever is required, with the right attitude you can transform your life at any time you wish… and from that angle, change can seem quite appealing after all!